two weekends ago i got to take a little trip to my home state of wisconsin.
i saw my brother, sister-in-law and the cutest 10 year in the world.
i went to nolan’s 4th birthday party (my dear friend amy and dave’s CUTE kido) at his parrrrty in the atrium at lambeau field.
of course i was the “dd” for several friends (or just one) who shall be unnamed.
i received beyond fascinating text messages – never in my life…wow. no one will ever see these – i don’t even have them.
i hit some of the really old hang outs to catch up with pulaski alum who i hadn’t seen in ages.
and i finally got to see my sweet friend amy who recently lost her husband (who was my brother’s age).
i do have to confess, it was the first time since my dad passed (13 years ago) that i didn’t nearly pass out from an anxiety attack just being in town. to be honest, i hadn’t been in green bay since 2008 (tony’s wedding). most of my trips home since then were to mke.
i was ready to face my fear (irrational, i know) that my dad wasn’t there. don’t ask why now, because i don’t even know myself. i guess my fear came from a unhealthy way of grieving – i had already moved out of the house and just graduated from college when he passed, so for me not to talk to him or see him daily wasn’t unusual – until i came back to pulaski where it was in my face that he wasn’t there – hence where my fear and heart ache came from.
i have lots and lots of memories of my dad and pictures over the 23 years i was alive during his 46 but the last picture we ever took and the last time i saw him was at thanksgiving in 1998. it’s a terrible pic but it’s mine.
it felt good, maybe even great being home.
strangely i had a lot of people ask why i was there…since i was there mid-week thru the weekend.
i’m not a good liar.
plus, a certain person who is like my brother told a few people so i couldn’t say i was just visiting.
it’s not a big deal, i know – i came home for a job interview (more later, i promise) – it’s no monumental announcement but if i don’t get the job, i didn’t want to be disappointed and then have everyone asking.
i think the funniest part was when people asked, i’d respond, and then watching them almost fall off their chairs.
the resounding question was, “why would you ever want to come back here?”
honestly, i loved growing up at home, i love the people, i love the thought of watching jasmine grow up…
i love that i could never, ever be who i am or learned what i have in the last 35 years without this town and the people who taught me and not just in the schools.
and because of that i had a distinct impression it was time for me to come home and give back to a place that gave me so much.
don’t get me wrong – i’m scared to death IF i get the job! nothing is ever the same no matter how long your gone. and i don’t expect it to me. no job is ever greener on the other side – just a different color or length.
and yes, i’ve been living the big city life for a while and some think i wont adjust back to…
i keep reminding them that’s the joy of being within driving distance to mke, mpls, and chi town.
plus, that handy tool called the internet will be very helpful.
p.s. don’t forget to check out the pics!